In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
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Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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