you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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