...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
