Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
