I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
