I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
