I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
