you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
