She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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