I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
