Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
