A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I can text with my tongue
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
