have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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