I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
