it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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