I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
