I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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