I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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