question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
