ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm too high and old for this...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
