I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I need to align my fucking chakras
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
