Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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