i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
