Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
