Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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