wrigley field is MILF paradise
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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