Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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