I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
