Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
