So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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