But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
handjob tips. give me some.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I will pee on everything he values.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
