when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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