Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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