He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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