Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
