Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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