my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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