The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Randomize
