you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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