Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
