Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
