Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
