if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
