I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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