i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have post one night stand depression
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