im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
