covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
