I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize