Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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