Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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