i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
