are you so shy because you have an std?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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