Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There r osticjed everywhere
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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