Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
