Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dicks are not precious.
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