Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
