i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize