chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
