i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You did what with his pubic hair?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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