honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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