shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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