she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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