Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
