She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
