Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
