Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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